I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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