Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
