sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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