Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
