some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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