is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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