we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
