The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
