the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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