There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
50% drunk capacity currently
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
