i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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