they need to just BURY HIM!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
