Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
