I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
