nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i dont even know how to be here
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
