Midget sex pt 2 tonight
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
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She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
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Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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