Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
