My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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