Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he fucked my hip out of place.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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