Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
