whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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