Yo dont text me then not text me
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
