You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
