i don't like sucking hair
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Terrible idea I love it
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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