you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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