I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
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