Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

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(216): View more from Ohio

So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab

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(828): View more from North Carolina

had another sex dream about alec baldwin...

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(469): View more from Texas

I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...

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29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(905): View more from Toronto

Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.

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(623): View more from Arizona

Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.

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(513): View more from Ohio

He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.

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(903): View more from Texas

The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped

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