She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.