Dude, you need to talk to your mom
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.