I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
