now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it