I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.