i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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