Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
