my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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