Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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