Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
