Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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