Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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