So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize