The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
