I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?