I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today