I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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