Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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