You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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