I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
