We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
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Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
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Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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