So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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