Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
