She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
