Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
