How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
