I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just gift wrapped bread.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
