yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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