Where is the hickey?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
