get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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