Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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