I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
