rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
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I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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